Dinosaurs and Gods

opxic

2011-12-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

the greek word for orchid means testicle.. because of the shape of the roots. if they are males underground they certainly grow out to be ya know... something georgia o'keefe has below the belt

miniteclado

2011-12-13T14:59:00.000-08:00

i came back to new york on sunday after spending two weeks with my aunt in Rio de Janeiro. because i don't have an unlimited budget i spent most of my money on Christmas presents. since the holidays are less than two weeks away i figured i'd be the best gift giver ever this year. ain't nobody else going to give a gift from the other side of the equator.
when i got home my room had a little face lift from my mother. not that i asked her to do such a thing. but she loves snooping around my room knowing when i'm not going to be around and call it 'rearranging'.
the day after i got home i was on the move for some love making. i was saving myself the whole time for my boyfriend, of course! before he came over and i made sure to hide his gift under my bed thinking "there's going to be no reason for him to look under my bed tonight"... o how wrong i was.
to clarify, he's jewish. so i'm confused when to give him his gift. should i wait for the first day of Hanukkah? but there's eight days of Christmas for him so which day would be the best to give? should i present the present on Christmas when it'll also be Hanukkah? win win?
after we were making up for lost time he got to finishing some work for school so he can be through with his undergrad. as he's sitting on the corner of my four post bed (sugar ray much?) there's a loud cracking noise. "what's that?" he asked. "i think you should move off the bed." he stays seated. CRACK. i do a somersault off the bed and lo and behold i peek underneath and my bed frame is breaking in half. "hey would ya get off the bed now?"
you know.. if he's about to break my bed it's going to be with him and me rockin on it. this way will not fly. so off the bed he goes to see the damage done and there goes my hiding spot. except he was too concerned to notice it! phew, that was a close one.. for me and for the bed.
the next morning i woke up intermittently happy to see him next to me. naturally saying i love you and i hear some mumbles back. i'd go back to sleep. by the time we rolled he went to gulp the rest of the apple juice on the bed stand or i don't know what happened but i hear a drop. i knew there was apple juice left and i go to see the mess half assed clean with a bunch a soaked tissues which now cracks me up. but here we are again, the spill spreads to underneath my bed. while i'm soaking the rest of the spill he watches as my hand is scrubbing towards his toy and he asks "what's a miniteclado?" he noticed! o no the surprise is ruined. but wait! he doesn't speak portuguese!
from the crack in my bed frame to the spilled apple juice i could've sworn a tornado stayed over, not a boyfriend. but you got to love a guy who shakes things up.
by this point i wasn't in a hot chocolate discussion mood. you know those conversations you have with each other when you're connecting and feel yourself opening up with each other and ultimately opening up with ourselves. being so kind and warm hearted. or existential and clever. this afternoon it wasn't happening. it was more of a wham bam thank you sir and you should brush your teeth every morning and night. you already have gingivitis as it is, don't want you getting periodontitis. don't you stare at the poster every time you're at the dentist?

love can't always be bath bubbles and giggles every minute.

rio recap

2011-12-04T12:08:00.001-08:00

i must admit i was naive regarding my first impression of rio. however honest in my emotions. after a day or so i learned i wasn't even staying in rio, but a neighboring town called niteroi. i'm staying in some sort of borough of rio, across the water, perhaps comparable as what brooklyn is to manhattan. but o so different.
to me, rio is an idealized manhattan. imagine a manhattan where the weather's always summer, the water always clean. a manhattan where you can walk right across the west side highway onto the beach and dunk your head in the non toxic salt water.. ya dream come true much? not only do i see why even the poorest in brasil are happy but in return understand why new yorkers have tough skin.
so where do i start? my mood the first week depended a lot on the weather and the weather was fickle. on the third day the sun came out. on my first sunny day here a brother and sister drove me around niteroi. blasting 90s music, usa made. nobody has the grammy's or oscar's like we do. usa movies and music is what drove english to be the universal language. rihanna should be so proud.
we drove around the slums that crawled up the lush mountains. their skin was darker, their houses smaller but the had the same sun and mangos as the rest of them. people would be waiting for the bus having to avoid napping dogs on the sidewalk. the poor and the dogs have it better in rio. i'm starting to think everything's better in brazil.
i've been back for a week. it's heart wrenching watching a good time being gulp in the past. i feel my body and soul being chipped away again merely just walking down nostrand. you want to see slums come to flatbush. the other day i was walking around trying to pick up the holiday spirit and noticed a few things about brooklyn. we all say sorry. barely bumping into each other we apologize. and every employee looks miserable, more or less. no one's happy to be anywhere and i don't blame them. this place is a shithole.
so this past week has been the perservation of energy and love from brazil. avoiding new york to wear it down.
i got a message from my aunt last night. saying they all miss me and ooOOo how i miss them. how they showed me how to let me light shine brighter. learning is to live. at this point of my life it's no longer what i think but i believe. too many times i claim it is my thoughts when it's my body telling me something. it's more than thinking but what i feel. this is only a couple of solidified lessons i took back from brazil. what's the fun in taking without giving?
To Do List: #1. brasil care package
not to wax being a sap but i cherish having these memories. also looking forward to meeting them at a different points in our lives.
i'm forgetting to mention one barrier: language. brasil is the only country in south/latin america to speak portuguese. they rest speak spanish which i am even more familiar with. meaning i'm even less familiar with portuguese. if i was fluent i probably would not have come back. i connected with women that not only inspire me in their character but professionally as well. i made better connections with a language barrier in rio de janeiro than i have yet to in new york. tears me up to admit, admit it has a lot to do with my sensitivity.
new york is gross and smelly and rough. i've spent most of my life finding the beauty in it. where i found it was in moments of generosity, humanity and solitude. my appreciation for a kind soul shot through the roof.
brasil hands over those moments as a gift everyday. it's well recieved. everyone is happy. even the crack out kid laying on the street is happy that it's never freezing and that the guards don't carry guns.
the weather and the lack of pollution is a transformation on anyone's body. after three hours the strong sun and refreshing salt water enhanced my body. my skin sunkissed, highlighted hair.. my nails grew and temporarily broke my bad habit.
i just want to remind myself to remember the tasteful graffiti that was respected and not painted over. how cable allows the naked body to be shown if thats what the movie included. sex isn't sold like britney spears but natural and beautiful. looking out to the endless pastures all for a few dozens animals. how the land overtook the homes and not vice versa. and the hammocks.. yes the hammocks too

who dances in rio?

2011-11-27T08:50:00.001-08:00

why do i travel? it's so unamerican. in the air for over nine hours. also crossing the equator doing it, which i'm starting to feel makes a difference, is all a little tiring? nerve racking. on top of that i was helping my aunt lift seven, no wait, NINE, i swear and i could even consider my carry ons but that is unbelievable even to myself, lifting them on and off conveyer belts. then i realize i'm in a third world country. this place never seemed to refresh itself since the times it was bumping in the 70s and 80s. maybe the olympics and world cup will give it a makeover. as a new yorker being in another city i'm driven to walk out and about but i think twice. finally sleep for hours in this delightfully tacky bed which i think i'm bunking with a shy cat who i have yet to see but have heard intermittenly through my dreams. but before i fall asleep i now know why i love new york, my home, so much.
but i wake up roll out of bed and walk into a room being made into a clothing store and handed a rollie and thinking i should put on my resume: buyer/seller assistant. eh? worth a shot.
i supposed i spent a fair amount of time writing that now i need to just go with it. get on living, and i've never been more thankful for being alive. i think it's the mix of being scared to fly and eating turkey and stuffing three days ago. anyway there's a rack of clothing and stella waiting

Bits and Pieces

2011-09-12T00:06:00.000-07:00

LaDies

the end of the summer has come to a sad end. but it's been great being free to be me.

irene the tropical storm

2011-08-28T20:41:00.001-07:00

aloha

if a vagina was a mushroom..

as a detective, this gives away a lot of clues

how could she?

if i take him on a realllly good walk, he'll take a dump. sometimes i applaud him for it.

horny after a funeral

2011-08-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

i slept in while every hour or so passed 3pm there was a shake a my door knob. my mother even went outside to look through my window to see if i was there. it's been sure passed a week where i have gotten a good nights sleep. my behavoir unfortunately is being under watch by my mother who is the novel 1984 personified. lately it's been tough for me to drink anything more than the equivalent of a six pack anyway. after blacking out loitering outside a bar when it closed i woke up to a full blown bruised rib and couldn't sleep on my left side anymore i toned the drinking down. anyone get that sweet morning after taste of beer on your breath and in your burps that just make me want to never drink again. i've officially ruled out budweiser in my drinking diet and usually stick to beer or tequila that comes with a lime or an orange. i guess i like my alcohol with fruit. earlier in the summer i'd drink and be a drunk fruit; feeling girls up and asking for threesome. i had my first triple kiss and it wasn't public at a bar. it was my first black girl actually.. and her boyfriend. but how can i soak up that in a positive light when my mom consistenly checks up just to see if i'm alive. don't mother's want to be strong supporters of their children. why can't she find herself useful in making me some raviolis and then checks up on me. she don't care if i have an empty stomach she just cares to know i'm alive because she is counting on me dead in the marsh or lost in a crackden. and yet i've never been close to arrested and never been in a brawl. so where do these accusations come from? it's tough for me to enjoy being myself when i have her dark cloud haunting me, telling me 2 + 2 = 5.

Jackpot

2011-08-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

dropped by the salvation army today. white tag sale. everything but the pretty woman dress was 50% off.

2011 1/2

2011-06-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

i think about this blog much more than i write in it

Brooklyn Spring 2011

2011-05-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

confessions

2011-05-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

right before, i got a rush of emotion that i want to get a cookie cake and/or an ice cream cake. belated birthday cakes. a month belated. i love dessert. chocolate and cake and ice cream and brownies. i think up the most indulgent, ridiculous desserts in my head and day dream of making every one of them and inevitably be on unwrapped and meet mark summers. i need to cut down of the smoking..
spark
spark
i don't even listen to myself how does anyone expect me to listen to anyone else?

FEATHERS

2011-05-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Rant

this is the last straw. no it won't be. i'll think of a style idea then sooner than later it'll be WHAT'S IN. bell bottoms after skinny jeans. accessories. hobos and slacks. i'm over being angry about seeing a ad saying feather earrings or in your hair is in for the summer. its not like i saw a bunch of feather earrings. chicken or the egg? my feathers are being plucked and put on E! news. i just want a job in the field.

i feel like you have to be a moron to be happy

2011-03-21T23:09:00.001-07:00

i gotta say i hate the fact that i gave in to "medication". i know i won't ever be a smiley face zombie or those endless references neurotic types either. but i feel like i lose street credit. but i've come to the conclusion that youre not on medication you are on some other drugs and if youre not on drugs you are happily in love and if you dont fall into any of those categories and yet youre happy, then you must be a moron.

snapshots

2011-03-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

knock knock knock

2011-03-06T20:40:00.000-08:00

what's a secret? something like a heracrux that harry potter strives to find to stop the evil voldermort! remember when harry potter carries that necklace around him for too long he becomes evil? i can't believe i'm having an epiphany comparing my life to witches and wizards. i was wearing someone's secrets for too long. when i confide in someone they're like a treasure chest. filled with jewels and gold of my secrets.. that's how i see it.
i've lost all desire and drive. i just don't know what to do with myself. dusty springfield sings a shit song about it.
so i spill the beans. it's funny it felt like the first time i wasn't a ghost to them. i wasn't a mirage or a mannequin.
hah "semen smells like chlorine and mayonnaise"

basilius besler

2011-02-07T22:45:00.000-08:00

purty flowers

the songs ingrained in my brain

2010-12-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

this is probably the most awful one yet.
Shawn Mullins - Lullaby

9th Congressonal District

2010-10-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

So Novemeber second i get to go to the irish pub a few blocks away from my house to vote for weiner. usually i don't want to vote for the same person twice or for any major party candidate for that matter. however, my congressman, anthony weiner, is an exception. as long as he's saying free healthcare and fuck the bailout he's got my vote. during the summer he actually had an outburst in congress just being sick of the "politics" of washington. i can't blame him. and while my parents scoff at his antics shown on fox news i was personally pleased and relieved that there is still energy to fight from someone. please.. i'd be pissed off too. anyway, i participated in my very first political poll conducted by the people of anthony weiner for congress (as opposed to republican candidate bob turner). i said weiner more times than i could count as the phone call lasted over twenty minutes. now as november is closer i see billboards, signs and trucks saying bob turner for congress. everywhere i turn it's advertisement for the grumpy frumpy man and nothing from weiner. i'm guess the majority sides with weiner and there's little to no turn over for turner. woo yeah i tried.

Putting it out there

2010-09-27T00:29:00.000-07:00

Victoria Woodhull
she told fortunes and found a way to leak money into her pipedream. she makes the dough on wall street and makes "raunchy" speeches about freelove.. in the 1940s

Misc.

2010-09-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

mta arts for transit
A couple of my favorite "Art Cards"

A couple of jackets I wish i could afford.

cat scratch fever

2010-06-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

i found out this fella's a fiddler

this pair excited me at first sight. they are pretty beat up; when i tried to wind up one i noticed the music box inside was detached. i tried the other one and it let out a little squeal and went on to play music as best as it could. i knew i had to have it and dreaming of finding my way to repairing these wonderful toys.

when i passed by this vine i nearly stopped short. as soon as i saw them i knew i've seen it before. they're etched into my early memories. details are still fuzzy but more to come

it's a rare commodity and will be hung in my first own backyard

picture heavy

2010-06-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

special human nature

hat pins

[sweater] clip

"warwick" table

textures and fabrics

my first fascinator

all the little birdies on jay bird street

2010-05-31T23:14:00.000-07:00

ollie ollie oxon free
tweet tweet
hook line and sinker
polly wanna picture?

mop shop swap

2010-05-29T23:40:00.001-07:00

i took this off the mannequin. didn't know the back was like that until i took the mannequin down from the shelf. i certainly was surprise
mint

where have i been?

2010-05-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

but when am i really even here?

its funny when youre coming in first but you hope that you last

you just hope that it last

ain't nothing like the real thing: that's for sure

2010-05-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

like i keep on saying. i don't know which came first: the phrase "ain't nothing but the real thing" or the song "ain't nothing like the real thing". i'm pretty sure i heard the phrase but i heard the song sung by marvin gaye and tammi terrell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef-4G4wFaFA
it tops any repeat. much like beyonces and just timberlakes which proves aint nothing like the real thing... copycat. they both had so much vibrato. vibrato nowadays is so popular coming out of the mouth but not going through the ears.

COTTON CROCHED HANDBAG WITH LEATHER TRIM

its funny they say sex in the media sex in the media. well frankly most sex on tv is a turn off. it's always these straying from the center sex groups focused on feet or inner beasts or fulling funky fantasies. in terms of tv shows theyre too soft. so you get the extremes and in either case it doesnt do it for me. unless except a nice ol' episode of cathouse.
o ya,
ain't no stopping us now. we're on the move

Protect and Conserve Your Local Habitat

2010-04-28T22:52:00.001-07:00

I have feelings..

And So Should You!

Going Rogue

2010-04-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

so i may be behind on this but i'm going to reach over and tug at it. sarah pa1in writes a book entitled "Going Rogue". so get this: she goes 'rogue', she becomes an "unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal" (i'm quoting the dictionary) then, short1y afterwards becomes the face of the way 'tarded 'tea party'. this 'tea party' gets sarah, who cou1d have been the vice president!, and therefore gets tons of press. press over how scary a wor1d we 1ive in with obama running the country. hahah i mean i shou1dn't waste my breath but this is ba1sphemy! give the press to smart peop1e who SCARE the banks and lobbyists, make them back off the fucking government being beggars for money. instead this tea bagging party puts themse1ves and me at such a disadvantage. Run By Sarah Pa1in, what a cunt.
maybe these tea party-ers do not know the definition of 'rogue'.

Love Your Mother..Earth, that is

2010-04-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

did you know that every leap year earth day becomes opposite earth day. so start your engines! turn on your faucet! and be sure to invest in some great lamps for the 'light all night' festivities. we may celebrate the earth every year, heck, everyday but for one out of every four year men (usually japanese or american) show what we can do and that is use, use , use. good thing no ones tried to topped the other with a nuclear explosion but they're man enough to have it. like as if all those nuclear possessed men stand around in a room each with a loaded gun.

i got a lot of books and a super pocket book. speaking of books yesterday i thought of an IDEA. oh my gosh i can't believe i did it. for a movie of a man who's probably a farmer and he's doing pretty well for himself. big family, big house and sufficient pockets. but then he gets an offer which in turn gets him a better deal in profits. he takes it and that big house and big family dwindle and gold diggers and other people wanting to make money start appearing by your side. so yeah he realizes what a good life is and what "too good" of a life can be.. evil perhaps. good and evil. rich and wealthy. yeah perhaps i'll work on it and then get an oscar.

fix

2010-04-21T19:05:00.001-07:00

terrarium and succulent tabletop garden.
i know my jar for the terrarium but where are my succulents?!

documentation

2010-04-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

ok if i'm accurate this is proof: otherwise discard

my predictions for the next or perhaps repetitive trend is...
polka dots and off the shoulder shirts

ya11 in drag

2010-03-29T19:50:00.000-07:00

i wrote a routine about herpes and here's a sneak

ok now don't raise your hands, how many of you are carrying guns? i11 1ift up my hands and surrender. don't you see. me, a1one with a spot1ight 1ooking out and seeing a crowd of peop1e carrying a gun? is this a set up or stand up.

stand up for your rights to 1augh!

piss in yo pants whist1ing 1issy

bid me fare thighs, adieu

thank you and goodnight

2010-03-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

tippy toes
lamb bones
chop suey

black and blue

2010-03-11T20:34:00.000-08:00

i've had this urban outfitters snap "dress" for about a year and have yet to wear it out because it seems to risky with the snaps and the length. so it came to me.... layering dresses. and it worked! i would wear this out.

this is visual documentation of the progression of ideas i have for outfits. this is how it started out and i came up with the title of this post.

dresses, urban outfitters and h&m

if there's a droopy neck top i like to make use of it.

then i thought about layering more dresses.

dresses, salvation army and buffalo exchange

neither of these dresses i wear. maybe putting them together convinces me to wear them? ehh

now now now, now here is where my outfit progression became a little more crafty. i've had this calvin klein slip dress for over a year now and it still had the price tag on it (although salvation army is final sale). you know when you pull a dress on one side and it tightens on the other? i dunno the stitching is strange or something and it was too long even for me. anyhow i decided to cut it and cut it into a curvy bottom. hopefully these pictures will show you what i mean.

then add a belt and yes! i transformed this dress into an outfit i will wear. i'm excited for the warm weather. i'm ready to be more carefree about covering my body.

i don't live in williamsburg; glad i'm not a sucker for it

2010-03-09T18:13:00.000-08:00

BCBG

CBGB

my personal favorite album of the band

this is the end.

2010-03-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

beautiful friend. this is the end, my only friend, the end.

faux fur sweater, salvation army

dress, san francisco

stockings, h&m

of our elaborate plans, the end. of everything that stands, the end.

no safety or surprise, the end.

i'll never look into your eyes again

in a desperate land it hurts to set you free but you'll never follow me. the end of laughter and soft lies. the end of nights we tried to die.

this is the end.

i've stopped my dreaming

2010-03-06T22:35:00.001-08:00

now back to pictures. so heritage1981 has the picture below as the first image you see on their website. this navy blue striped shirt or dress i wanted as soon as i laid my eyes on it. but just to my luck, seriously this has happened before, it's not on the website. it is so frustrating to have clothing companies tease and advertise a piece on their front page that they do not sell! grrrraw. victoria's secret did this with thigh high sock/stocking they were showing off in a previous catalog months back. and now this!

anyway, since i was quite bored being unemployed (not anymore!) i re-pierced my ear, cut my bangs and dyed my hair the darkest i ever have. i've gotten quite used to the dark brown shade but i am looking forward to it lightening up in the coming warmer months. i'm also looking forward to my bangs growing out a bit and getting them professionally trimmed. i'm kind of into the long wispy bangs that are parted in the center. like nico's for example:

yes yes we all know the jcrew catalog came around this past week. i can't believe it but i actually liked and wanted a wedding dress. the last wedding dress i thought about wearing was my mother's. it's quite similar to this jcrew dress which makes sense that it's to my taste. my mother's was shorter and with a pink sash and she dares to not care to remember what she's done with it! my mom was a far better dresser than i was and i try not to, but i do get disappointed that she neglected to save her wonderful finds for her daughters... not even her wedding dress! anyway this dress is quite pretty with it's grecian feel and asymmetry.

3 - 2 - 1 and we're off!

jotting down: it has no images but i promise, you just may be entertained by it

2010-03-06T00:14:00.000-08:00

aka this will never be noticed unless it has credibility

aka am i now sounding like david cross or david eggers?

aka am i sounding too lame to care?

aka i always mention kurt vonnegut lines(a mac laptop wants me to capitalize vonnegut - way to go with the notoriety), unintentionally... he just touches a nerve within my skin

aka o but i do like to make nods of those before me

so i'm at my lonesome and i get "I'm going down" sung by mary j blige, in my head. so i take a listen and post it on facebook because why not? you know when you're high and wasted and it's friday night and you just want to interact? you want to coexist with the human world because then, well you know the thoughts you have exist. if kept to yourself then how else would you have evidence of them? anyway. i think that song, "i'm going down" is just one of those reoccuring (wow red dotted line says that is not a word? yeah i'm making it one. fuck you dictionary. don't you dare let me refrain because of your limitative contents) songs in my head. or shall i mention the everlasting songs stuck in my head which, i heard is actually quite expected of lefties. lefties use their right side of their brain more (rocket science? i think i'm dyslexic, just like newton and franklin?). so because i'm left handed - right side of the brain contains more memory for music or sounds or what have you. that "fact" i've recieved seems to be proven on me.

anyway i think mary j. blige's song "i'm going down" prefaces "real love" quite well. frankly because "i'm going down" sucks and putting a better song after a crappier song, just makes the better song sound even better. so yea, although, "i'm going down" came after "real love" and so does prefacing have to go in chronological order? i don't think so. because really, i've seen a trend. I've seen quite a few trends in my life and one trend i've noticed, with music, is sometimes you're never as good as the first. which is not to say the same for virginity, the 50th time or the 500th time, is way, way better. regardless of sex and music... there's drugs. so enjoy yourself kids... but never get too addicted.

job interview outfit

2010-03-03T15:16:00.000-08:00

i'll see by next week whether this outfit did me any good.

but hey i think this is the second post where i'm actually wearing shoes.

i'm sad. i express what i would like then it causes trouble then i worry that i should have just kept my trouble to myself. especially if i do not feel understood with what i'm getting at, what i'm asking for.

i'm going to curl up and read and disconnect so i cannot make any request, cannot do anything that can lead into turmoil.

outfit:

i've posted all this before

dress, united colors of benneton (salvation army)

skirt, handmade

cardigan blazer, simple (nordstrom rack)

scarf, found on the ground (i washed it)

shoes, bloomingdales

these are a few of my favorite things

2010-03-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

depressingly comforting albums that i recently downloaded by using a four-year-old itunes gift certificate.

albums i have downloaded so far?

Morrissey "Viva Hate"

Built to Spill "Perfect from Now On"

Neutral Milk Hotel "In An Aeroplane Over The Sea"

now now, let me be clear: recently downloaded does not mean recently heard of. these albums have been my pillow to cry on and my sweet lullabies when i'm silently sad.

angel, angel, down we go together.

lonesome no more, lonesome is a whore and she gets to fuck every night. goes to show you, eh?

moonlight seduction and whispering serenades, be sure during war you won't be interrupted by a grenade.

that was my attempt to talk about personal thoughts, i guess when i translate them outward they become one big joke but inside it seems serious.

enough shifts of the earth, what about one with me. imagine templates collided and out came gallons of fresh water? or millions of little new flowers; something pretty to happen after destruction, like a tangible rainbow. i'm waiting for something beautiful but it's not going to happen with me sitting here. too bad i'm not like the earth, who, spins and twirls constantly that anything is bound to happen. sometimes i think just sitting here does create something but if it isn't put to use... what's the use. so it fades away if i don't make the move to put it to use. i will do that. i will. ...tomorrow...

but for now, while i have spent some time inside going through my own treasures and rearranging my bedroom, here are some of my favorite things:

denim and striped t shirts (salvation army and h&m)

notice the flower on the cuff?

and the flowers on the shoulder. i took a risk and bought a striped shirt quite impulsively and showed a friend and she said "looks like you'd belong in prison". so i shut the drawer on the shirt for a few but every time i bring it out to wear i'm happy i did. it's a splash of boldness that i enjoy. i've tossed giving up color combos because of their resemblance to holidays or... prison. black and red doesn't always have to mean devilish and green and red isn't always christmas, especially if it's an outfit i'm wearing 4 months prior. and brown and black too! i'm gonna go for it.

alright, well this combination fits like a lock and key. for some reason there's a square opening in the back of the midriff sweater where the dress' bow can show.

this belt is one of three i got from a boy friend of mine's mother. actually i think i got four. she was nice enough to give me these three but i was eyeing this other one and sort of mentioned it to my friend and of course he had to go tell his mom and i was embarrassed for being seemingly greedy but no. i love them all. they are in good hands, or good waist should i say.

sweater - free people

dress h&m

now onto accessories:

i tried tried tried taking a decent picture of these stained glass earrings. should have just taken a picture of them not on me. anyway, i thought i lost these but turns out, after looking through jewelry my sister left behind, there they were. left for me! back in my appreciative hands and ears. god second time i made that "joke". so yeah i got these earrings in a salvation army around western PA. the colors range from green, clear to pink if the picture doesn't make it clear.

my two newest salvation army finds. it was great timing to find these satchels at such a cheap price because a) i really did not have a nice, cross-body bag and b) i have less money than i do bags.

and for making sure to emphasize that my things are only things and not my favorite everything

my favorite would be to have a charming, helpful man to fasten a clasp when i can't.

for other things that i can't seem to make work, yet adore

another couple of salvation army finds. this fuzzy, oversized plaid button up and this broken? belt? but hey, putting them two together appears to have made them both work. what a nice note to end this post.

fare thee well

revealing my wish list

2010-03-01T11:06:00.001-08:00

i searched high and low to find a better picture but this will have to do. the brown polka dot dress julia roberts wears in Pretty Woman certainly is... well, pretty. the cut on the sleeves, the length, the color. arghh where and when can i get my hands on it and my body in it.

separate church and state

2010-02-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

m. ward made an album with the trend fav. zooey deschanel and i thought of peter yorn and scarlett johansson... apparently so did everyone else. i looked it up.

wanna know what's hitting the streets of new york city these days?

duhn duhn duhn

the dog of the season

the shiba inu.

it's as if a teddy (polar) bear and a fox did IT. it ;)

if i had money i would buy:

cole haan wide saddle leather belt. always liked these belts. quite adjustable compare to the usual.

bolo tie

my best friend in the world has one. it's a cow skull with hooves for the ends. it's very cool, i'd love to wear it. hint hint.

lorgnette (spy) with chain

this entry was brought to you by:

while watching robin williams newest stand up on hbo "Weapons of Self-Destruction", recapping the last two decades and how ridiculous the history is. Somehow he makes it happy to hear, swell guy, glad he's now got a strong pig heart. cow? i'm unsure. it's immaterial anyway. Robin Williams, on the contrary, has some excellent material. "ford colon: the shits hit the fan and it's powering my car. fuck green go brown" - Robin Williams

my alternative to the brooklyn motto

2010-02-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

whatdoyaknow eh, jack?

fugghedaboutit

distinction of the two

2010-02-17T19:27:00.001-08:00

I wanted to see this chanel movie since i am fond of the actress

however, i didn't know another chanel movie was out on rent and mistakenly thought it was Coco before Chanel but instead i got this:

and eh haha it was a lifetime movie. speaks for itself. but what i learn is how Chanel got the name Coco. when she met the man who let her run around in a mansion making hats he called her coco. so wouldn't it be chanel before coco or coco before chanel? i guess i just have to see the other movie.

Lately

2010-02-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

Watched 500 Days of Summer

which started off quite well... and declined from there (aside from the soundtrack)

The soundtrack may or may not include the Nancy Sinatra song "Sugar Town" the character, Summer, sings on karaoke.

But Temper Tramp's song "Sweet Dispostion" certainly is on the Soundtrack. I thought when the voice went to falsetto it was a female. you want to know who else i thought was a female?

Neil Sadaka... whoops

dress up.

2010-02-11T17:36:00.000-08:00

I tend to not wear dresses. why? shy? i'm not sure but i'm not going to pass it up this year. so cheers to the upcoming warm weather and potential outfits.

mandees

2010-02-10T11:10:00.001-08:00

they have some nice tights and a sweater. too bad i'm even too poor for mandees

more misc. music

2010-01-31T16:28:00.000-08:00

rod stewart is singing forever young and i thought "no this song isn't good is this the same guy who sung white wedding? it can't be, please tell me no, i love his song rebel yell, phew great its billy idol." billy idol has a few good songs and that's something to be proud of. i strive to be a one hit wonder. if i could get one song in the airwaves and have it be a hit! most of the time when i speak of or search for music it's finding that one song sung by some band or a cover or someone covers it and then you type in the lyrics, find it, and save it for safe keeping as a favorite on youtube. ive just started this habit in 2010. it all started because my dell laptop was on a leather ottoman for too long and overheated so i'm broke and only could afford.... a netbook! some people swear by the eee pc but i've already had the L key and another key broke. so i lost all my songs from my laptop and had my ipod stolen so i'm starting from scratch! haha 2009 was quite unfortunate, same with 2007. i'm counting on the will to make this year and this decade what i want. i got through january just fine. even went to the west coast.

anyway i am going to continue my quest for the everlasting songs stuck in my head. and each one that is available on youtube will be clicked on the heart and fill up with blood red. i wanna see blood blue. aside from the tangent, now i'm on the search for the song "True". you know, the one that goes I knowww this MUCH is TRueueueue deedeedeedodo. does e1ton john do a verison? i'm thinking so... i'll see what i can find, in the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. o i suppose its spandua ballet. hmm... hopefully elton john will cover it someday.

Double Cardigan

2010-01-30T21:26:00.001-08:00

i'm going to find the right lipstick for me. i'm thinking a blue red if i go darker and a rose pink if lighter. my nose is certainly red. it's cold in brooklyn new york. the marsh is right out my door and window. yes i have a door to the outdoors in my bedroom. lots of cracks for the massive cold to seep through.

i did face the cold front today and did so with three long sleeve tops. two of them happen to be cardigans. o and my new boots. can't forget those boots!

top layer, nordstrom rack

middle, gap

bottom, h&m

forever got longer: XL shirt into a halter

2010-01-27T15:39:00.001-08:00

i was disappointed when i found out the ipad wasn't a new high-tech handy panty liner. my dad was right when he said obama needs to lock himself in his office for 6 months and do what the majority of the people want. that would be something, for obama to shut his doors on his staff and sponsors. then he'd start carrying out votes on issues for americans decide and take that decision and incorporate it with the house passing it and so on. then obama will know what the people want and take advantage of the majority of democrats in the house and pass REFORMS. Hallelujah! .... not going to happen.

anyway that was from last night before the state of the union.

after i wander into a clothing project: XL t shirt to halter top

i was in the middle of doing this when i thought i should've gotten a before picture. so i didn't cut the sleeves entirely off. i left the under sleeve. on one sleeved i sewed a button and made a slit on the other one. buttoned it on the back and that's that!

there we have it. now i'll definitely wear it more, it stays and will be worn! because it's such a large t-shirt it now has a sort of mini bell dress feel. i look forward to wearing it with tight pants and shorts and tucked into skirts.

got this shirt at a salvation army a ways back when

the old man is snoring

2010-01-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

i've been walking in my new boots and i'm feeling like a new lady in them. one thing i was looking forward to is being able to wear ankle pants in knee high boots. so that i did while eating mexican food and sipping back a couple of margaritas with my parents. now there's the trader's joe's across the street from the restaurant which keeps the hood quite crowded.

anyway. here's what i actually wear out:

outfit A lets say. i suppose i am a true new yorker because i do opt for black, especially in this weather. but i'm an undercover color fan, as you (my vacant readers) can tell.

there's assistant designer jobs at gap and ect. in brooklyn and new york city. i want it.

i woke up this morning with madonna's "the power of goodbye" in my head. i'd recite "there's no greater power than the power of goodbye" in my head and fall back asleep.

i got to watch a reno911 episode where joe lo truglio says you're a patriot and you love america! when he's convincing jones to do some more coke and get some more blow jobs in order to complete a bust. it could be one of my favorite quotes, if only i knew it verbatim.

it's a great episode. it's the first one of the last season i believe. shame the show has ended, twas a good run. better than showalter and ian black can do, hah!

so this is outfit B:

i was going to hide my hair but then i thought... fuck it. this is what i wear privately i suppose. in due time i'll be public and hopefully this blog with move outside this room.

this is a velvet dark green skirt that was once a small dress. i somehow sewed it into a skirt. i thought this blouse, which i posted not too long ago, would look fairly well with this skirt. i'm unsure about the blouse so i keep on attempting ways to make it work. it's my best shot yet if i do say so myself.

outfit A.

ankle pants, gap

cardigan, thrifted topshop

scarf, h&m

shirt, my girlfriend's childhood soccer team

outfit B.

blouse, j. crew outlet

skirt, diy thrifted

it's getting it's getting it's getting kind of hectic

2010-01-25T20:14:00.000-08:00

tire track all across your back i can see you had your fun but darling can't you see my signals turned from green to red

jimi hendrix "crosstown traffic" was my favorite song of his in high school.

while listening to him i picked up a red sweater. while trying it on at salvation army i'm pretty sure i was speaking to some model who won america's next top model some years back.

sweater, salvation army

shirt, h&m

pants, levis

howdy yall: reuse and recycle

2010-01-24T22:23:00.001-08:00

i've landed my hands on a mac. mother macintosh. it's nice.

planet planet planet soul, sounds familiar? it's so repetitive it's been in my head since i was ten.

it's

duhn duhn dunn

Planet Soul "Set You Free"

let down? i know i'm sorry. the last song i got stuck in my head was

Snap! "Power" ... i don't know which is worse

this braid rope was from a knit tonic, the only good thing left of it. got it at h&m in vienna

now playing: goo goo dolls "slide" i can only stomach it for 2 mins

so what's the point of recycled clothing if you don't reuse it? depends on what your priorities are; the self or the surroundings. i try (and can't spend anyway) not to buy something i already have. but there's so many things to have in fashion! jeans for example: boot cut, straight leg, medium leg, flares, stretch, black, denim ugh then go into pants: yoga, spandex, linen, khaki. ok i've convinced myself, there's a lot of options out there and it's fun to carefully seek the ones you want out instead of buying half ass substitutes.

i finally found my simple leather buckle boots. o i do enjoy the finer things in life.

steve madden, i got to stretch this leather out.

i enjoy when pbs plays rick bayless' show called Mexico: One Plate at a Time. i'd like to visit but i am warned quite often not to. truly, i think i'd like to end up there in the end of my life.

caramelized mangos.

the tops i've worn before. reuse reuse!

pants, levis

cardigan, nordstrom rack

skirt(top), aa

hat, gap

scarf, nyc rando store

this is how i do it

2010-01-24T19:34:00.001-08:00

why wouldn't i be a light sleeper? i don't want to be put to rest, to lay me down. oh no, i got to keep on moving.,

to wear your insides out

2010-01-23T13:43:00.000-08:00

michael jackson's song "in the closet" inspired me to wear my slip. i've had this for a few years and used to strut around in it. but for some reason it has been put on hold on a hanger. not anymore!

i'm into wearing splashes of shades of the same color. these tights were just the right touch. my slip coming out from the bottom of the skirt i find to be a nice trim but that's just me. that's what this blog is ain't it?

skirt, j. crew (original cost $80, got it for $7)

slip, thrifted

cardigan and belt, gap

tights, h&m

i have more to wear than for words as of late

conan

2010-01-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

i hope conan comes back in seven months. by that time i count on making a promising income and out of my parents house.

i'm dressing to my taste. i'm still feeling the effects of what conan said tonight.

dress, shop in san fran... x generation

sweatshirt, macy's

ketchup

2010-01-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

when a song is on repeat in my head i enjoy tweaking the lyrics to keep it fresh. boy i'd enjoy a keyboard and playing my own version of the Tic Toc song. wait no, i mean the Evacuate the Dance Floor song. drunk last night i changed the lyrics to "evacuate the scepter, intoxicated with the fumes"

anyway i went to the west coast. visited la, san diego and san francisco. san francisco is loaded with thrift stores which were too overwhelming for me to search through. i walked the soles of my shoes thin but in turn redeemed my human soul. 2009 of transference i got to tell you it was an expensive wear on my being. but with each step i regained my identity and it's relief not to panic. the heavy baggage that wasn't even my own was checked and can take a flying fuck to the moooooooooooon. ain't no one going to bring me down no more; shame on anyone that does that to people. that's a bad person in my book, speaking of books...

i imagined a photo shoot as if i were sherlock holmes or in my study, as if i was to have one. but as the picture proves, it wasn't going to work out. if i had a camera, tripod or friend it could have. placing this idea in storage to await proper equipment.

good thing i left california when i did i hear the clouds are sick with explosive diarrhea. conan has reached this level of greatness that has kept me wide eyed watching. the style he has while bowing out is sexy. now nbc won't let him speak negatively of them or jay leno, which i don't think he ever did. he has tact with who he wants, he knows the way to work it, work around it, or not give a fuck and it's exciting and hot to watch someone who truly knows what he is doing. i support conando.

so oprah is going off the air too. the woman that could save the world but she lost herself. she's out there. damn oprah has tremendous amounts of money and she knows that there is a floating pile of pollution in the ocean but she doesn't want to be the one to give up money and take care of it. pardon the immaterial pondering.

supreme court ruled that campaign sponsors can put as much money into bashing the opponent and/or supporting their candidate. progress. not. just goes to show, once again, that the ones with the money have the power and that is not the politician.

my new boots. yay about time. i've been searching for a simple black leather buckle boot and it was more than half off, under 100 bucks. i'm happy.

boot, steve madden

blouse, j crew

cardigan, splendid

pants, BCBG

potential outings potential outfit

2010-01-06T17:03:00.001-08:00

i wore this blazer once before and i don't even like it.

as you and i can tell i'm happier in this blazer

stockings and dress, h&m

tank top, j. crew

blazer, thrifted tahari

pond rings

2010-01-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

put an e between the space of the title. what's up with women loving the song "i will survive" i much rather aretha franklin's "respect" as the female stomping on their woes song. i rather think not, i will live through rough times, but, dammit give me some respect!

westward bound

reminds me of pet shop boys "west end girls" and dead end world. hah but they have a song "go west" which is nothing other than ridiculous. wow, i can't believe this song is almost 5 minutes long, it makes it awful. like some yo gabba gabba song on wonder showzen, childish with a twist. "west end girls" is relieving better.

i want navy and knee high socks for the west.

for anywhere there's this skirt:

with a light tan leather belt and navy tank top. i have a pair of artisan, green tevas that would look just darling.

i saw a great fur coat on a russian jewish lady today. black with a mid waist pull string and hood. i'd like the cheaper, fake version.

gloria gaynor "I WILL SURIVE" came on. such a nuisance to listen through.

EDIT: picture is from the movie "The Bandwagon" with Fred Astaire. Michael Jackson was heavily influenced by the ending of the movie for his song/video for Smooth Criminal

the brightside to the darkside

2010-01-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

i tapped myself on the shoulder and thought i should wear this today

but when quenching my urge to listen to Madonna's "Beautiful Stranger" i wanted to wear this instead:

when i went to the library i took out:

now seeing the original cover makes me more intrigued but what i really wanted was:

thought it would be quite relevant

i believe there's many sides to us all. bringing my in[sides] outwards is quite fun. goes to show you by the variety of clothing i have collected over the years. i still need to find myself a pair of high heels.

disney gets shady

2010-01-03T22:44:00.000-08:00

finally a black girl gets to be a Disney princess and about time too. i guess once Obama was elected president Disney got the clue. however, instead of the frog changing into a prince, the princess becomes a frog too. and she stays a frog for the majority of the movie. this is what disney prefers to portray the first black princess as:

Disney came up with this idea to somehow showcase a black princess without trying to offend who? themselves? so they turn her into a frog?!

they make the prince lighter than our president.

is this prince even black? i think he's italian or greek. i don't know of any black man that has that hair.

role models

2009-12-29T20:14:00.000-08:00

i watched role models for probably the fifth time last night. comedies are funny, profound i know. not all of them are funny to me; i have a particular sense of humor. i love to joke and laugh and watching the whole gang in role models get a kick out of each other cheers me up anytime. same with the family in stepbrothers, and the state/stella in wet hot, reno911... ya get me? i enjoy a group of funny fuckers having a good time improving, riffing and making each other laugh - it's why you got to watch the extras scenes on DVDs. which reminds me... i forgot to watch them for the hangover. seeing all these comedy groups i've found a few great comedic female actors which do seem rare. allow me to introduce a few.
elizabeth banks in role models.

tube top over button up shirt? she has great outtakes with paul rudd. they are a couple in this movie and in wet hot american summer. some things never change... because, hey, sometimes they don't need to.
kerri kenny-silver as trudy from reno911!

her racy and perverter character on reno reassures me that i too can be funny. i'm proud of the way she pulls it off. she also is (or was) a singer for a band called cake-like
mary steenburgen in stepbrothers

the queen of comedy as of right now (my opinion). she always was good in elf but in stepbrothers she really get to crack more jokes. and she's just so well put and well spoken. i like anyone that's eloquent in explanations. she's married to ted danson as well, who's absolutely fantastic in the new hbo series, bored to death.

and for a character not so funny

i also saw avatar last night and it is a five star movie. three hours of a fantasy world that doesn't seem to far fetched from a rain forest on earth. if it wasn't for the man made dominated earth i'd be somewhere along the lines of this character, neytiri. i would be roaming the forest fluidly in tune to it's workings. but with the earth the way it is i got to stick to the jokes.

do it yourself: cut out dress

2009-12-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

i noticed the cut out dress at UO and thought to make one myself. i bought this black dress from salvation army. it's actually sleepwear from j. jill. the fabric is heavy and isn't the sexiest so i figured i might as well give it a shot since there's a slim chance i'll be wearing this dress out regardless. so i took some white eyeliner i purchased years ago when H&M had a cosmetic section (whatever happened to that). i drew an outline of where i would cut and got some leftover fabric and hand sewed a bow in. i'd say it's a good first attempt although i'd like the bow's ends to have more of a point.

letting everyone out there know what's possible. take matters into your own hands!

i used my headband from claire's as a [back]lace.

christmas on bethany beach

2009-12-26T21:18:00.000-08:00

boy, my netbook is such a loser. it seems to get pissy whenever i indulge myself in the arts and crafts.

this video is I, running along the beach with my pal, my little brother, my family dog, named tuna. we ended up running where the waves break and i didn't notice until the cold water crashed on my clogs. then a dead bird washed up on shore... i wonder if that's an omen of sorts. if i'm wondering then i assume it is symbolic to me. i think sarah mclachlan's song "arms of an angel" would be funny to put to this video. i'm sick of hearing that song every time the ASPCA commercial comes on, i change the channel. it would be hard to find a song to match that commercial for me to watch it. seeing animals go through abuse makes me sad, even if they are being rescued but i'm sure glad they are.

well the upside to being stuck in a strange, uncomfortable, house on the beach, in the winter, with my family, is that i went to the tanger outlets. i had a jcrew coat which was pricey and tore within a weeks wear. even though it was so beautiful i returned it. then i went to the outlets and found this similar coat for much much much MUCH less.

a picture of me outside, watcha know about that. my mother made us take pictures... i'm sure we've all been there before.

jacket and pants, j. crew

scarf, h&m in vienna

gloves, salva army

j. crew is right up my alley...if only that alley was paved in gold.

good thing for outlets!

notice the tune i sing at the end of the video? eh? quite festive

subdued craft

2009-12-21T19:37:00.000-08:00

hey pretty lady with the high heels on, that wouldn't be me. i wouldn't wear shorts until this summer. i used to wear dresses everyday when i was a very young girl and remember spending the whole day in class ripping my stockings. i wore boys tshirts because i didn't want to show my (bare) chest. my sexuality, physically, is quite private. it wasn't until a few years ago that i took a look in the mirror and thought about showing my curves. it is still a gradual process; mostly due to finding the right pieces and finding the money for it.

i still take the opportunity to hibernate. two days ago was my first snowfall of the season and it lasted all day. i dread going to my elevated subway stop, shivering to and fro waiting for the train.

so two years ago my mother gave me this nice, white cardigan for christmas. it didn't fit or feel right enough to wear and so i never did. today, i finally moved the sleeves down, took the top of it and sewed it to a red hood my sister toss at me when she cut it off her sweatshirt. voila. i'm still wearing it so that's a good sign.

only when i shifted down the sleeves did i remove the tag. it has ruffles on the shoulders now which is the whole point of showing you this picture. yeah i really, secretly wanted to show off my tiger pillow and starry night carpet. o and the gold chain leopard headband.

sweater, altered H&M

pants, jcrew

subway

2009-12-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

not the food chain but the most extensive public transportation in the USA! i ate two bags of chocolate last night and now i could eat a foot long chicken teriyaki sub with sweet onion sauce. i'd eat any food that taste good. sit me down at a five star vegan restaurant or a back yard bbq and i'll be equally as satisfied but equally as full? right now all those reese's and peanuts m&m have left my stomach and it's running on empty. so back to the inedible subway.

the fare went up 25 cents (there is no cent symbol). as the fare was raised, the construction on my subway line went up as well. mayor bloomberg probably sits on his mother hens egg all day instead of realizing his logic is absurd. unemployment is up and the subway fare is raised meanwhile there is construction at my subway stop for the next two years. i have to fork up an extra quarter so the subway can take longer. at least on my subway line, the B/Q, has the famous Masstransiscope right after it leaves the dekalb stop, right before the train rides across the manhattan bridge. it's not the nicest visual i've seen on the subway but the visual moves as you move! here's a link specifically for the Masstransiscope:

http://www.creativetime.org/programs/archive/1980/Masstranisitscope/MasstransiscopePopUp2.html

and here is another link to the Masstransiscope as well as the other new york city subway art: http://www.nycsubway.org/perl/artwork_show?189

now here are some pictures i've taken on the B/Q:

good thing my finger didn't get in the way of the horns. check out the speakers and the white pouch that carries his CD player. as well as the biker's all white outfit (beard included) which compliments nicely with the white and teal schwinn he owns.

and this is what was sitting beside me on the way home from harlem.

now as to why my outfit posts have grown further apart

i've been away from my closet awhile now and, as you can see, have become a disaster. notice the tucked in sweater and the striped socks over the tights. as well as unbuttoned skirt which makes a little ruffle.

ya know, just staying up till 4am watching a boyfriend play assassin's creed II. good thing graphics improved or else i would've fallen asleep.

alllllrighty then

remix

2009-12-08T17:54:00.000-08:00

rerere remix. is that short for recycling mixture? i like to think it is. well i bought this tunic online from Urban Outfitters which i wore here. the top piece of the tunic is different from the bottom so it's easy to disguise with some extra pieces of clothing. i figured this outfit out when i was visiting my friend. i was packing and stuffed my satchel assuming i'll find a way to put the pieces together and it worked out well... but i got lucky that time.
can you see the bow?

i adjusted the brightness to the photos which helped. i'd like to get in on the next remix contest i see.

the stockings, zip up and skirt are from h&m

yeah i find putting a simple, tight black skirt under the tunic allows me to rock it as a dress comfortably.

time for watching Woody Allen's 'Radio Days' on TCM. they live and talk about my neighborhood. anxiously finishing this up so i can watch with a pint of vanilla swiss almond!

more posts to come (the ideas are in my head)

miller's crossing

2009-12-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

it's a slushy saturday here on the eastern coast of brooklyn, new york. no white wonderland yet but it is such a mess outside so i decided to stay indoors. i watched Funny People and Miller's Crossing. the former wasn't very funny and the latter was a nice catch on this fox channel i have on fios which plays movies without commercials. anyway, i skimmed through a few magazines my mom and i received in the mail and this outfit inspired me from anthropologie:

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/category.jsp?popId=CLOTHES&navAction=jump&id=CLOTHES-CATALOG

page 12, outfit on the right, i wish i knew how to have the picture on here... i'll get the hang of this.

it made this outfit click in my head:

watching miller's crossing during this "photo shoot"

i also put on make up which was fun. i needed the practice since i rarely cover the cosmos. i used my eye shadow pencils as eyeliner; ended up a good idea. the best application i've done so far.

shirt, h&m skirt and pin, salvation army

johnny, don't point that gun at me

2009-12-03T17:05:00.000-08:00

this is not a diary, this is not a diary. "i have to praise you like i should" - that's what's playing on pandora right now but it's the original by Camille Yarbrough titled "Take Yo' Praise". strange, praise seems oddly spelled even though correct, that happens sometimes. last night was my first time on pandora. i used to have an itunes library and an ipod but that all backfired. you know how technology has it's tendencies. it's strange how they develop behaviors; it's like a pet. when my pet netbook gets a little too loud i know i got to let her rest before she freezes up on me. technology temperament, who knew? i'm glad i gave pandora a chance but i think that's partly because i did well with my "genres": "breathe" by telepopmusik then william devaughn and last but not least, the smiths. there ya go, i'm glad i discovered my sound box, wind it up and out pops a pandora clown singing "love will tear us apart". but i don't think it was the love, i think it was the tunnel vision. yes, dusty springfield on now! damn three bands can cover my taste with pandora, usually.

obama speech on war last night. it's been too long since he has addressed the millions of people who voted for him. ahhh i dream of fire- side chats, feeling so involved in my country's "democracy". maybe that's the only good thing that came from the world wars were the people coming together to support the troops. women being put to work, everyone being put to work and feeling like you have a purpose and contributing role. however this war in the middle east is barely noticeable. obama's speech was last night and on the cover of the post and daily news today is tiger woods. it's awful, where has people's priorities gone? i'm not comfortable enough to having someone else's shitty relationship concern me. anyway yeah the last time he spoke nationally was on health care and i was honestly drop-jawed, blown away by the speech. i felt like it was the most important speech i've heard and this was still when i was turning on him, only because i felt he turned on me! but he fooled me once more with the health care speech. the bill is still under construction but it's a lost cause. sorry but i don't think 31 million more people being insured is something to celebrate. our country actually CHANGING and allowing the government to compete fully, just like the corporations, is something i would be proud of. now that's a real public option; the public, meaning everyone, having the option to chose government healthcare. these corporation, lobbyists fuck faces just have obama obeying their every wish. it's pretty pathetic. i can't even be proud that america voted in a black guy, we might as well elected halle berry. damn i really feel tricked by him but he has 3 more years to turn it around. boy do i hope that he'll remove troops in 2011 but i wish he'd get them the fuck out of there right now. have them all sit on the borders of america keeping an eye out. have them build awesome technology to protect us, not send them to that awful place to fight. when he said he's sending more troops after the holiday season it broke my heart. he said there's reasons for him to believe it's safer to send them but psht, o yeah? what else do you know? that single payers health plan would end up boosting our economy and fucking finally giving everyone the human right to health care that won't empty everyone's pocket. but nah, teenagers popping pills is what the pharmaceutical companies want and therefore obama gives in and wants it too. i can't even go into the bailout or gay marriage. this entry would drag on forever. as far as what i want to get across is, as of now, i am not re-electing him.

ah astrud gilberto "the girl from ipanema" - was waiting for this to come on. ooo now it's "send me an angel" by real life. "it's hard to be lucky in love", yeah it sure is. i'm not lucky, i'm johnny, so "send me an angel right now". damn this song is good, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6zBjYIyz-0 there ya go.

i went to the salvation army yesterday and turns out every color tag except for one is 50% off every wednesday so i really scanned the racks for treasures. i ended up with ten things for a total for $30. those "things" include jackets and dresses and i'm glad to know that i really got a good deal. the skirt i'm wearing is a piece i got yesterday as well as the world trade center pin on the skirt which i wish you can notice more in the pictures. i love the skirt, it's the all girls catholic school skirt i've always wanted. but yeah apparently i cannot fit my whole body into the pictures unless i'm standing 6 ft. away and the webcam isn't going to capture much detail that far away so i make due.

i decided to add jewelry because initially i wanted to do a post solely on that since i was reorganizing my earrings and such but instead i'll save that for another time.

the gold bracelet is probably a gift years and years ago from family. it was in a box covered in hebrew writing.

the polka dot earrings, wtc pin and skirt are from salvation army. the top and tights are h&m.

now that i think of it i think i should've (should've isn't a word? that's silly) went for the cameo earrings but i like the slightly confusing arrangement of "jewels".

toodaloo

thanks for thanksgiving

2009-11-30T21:10:00.000-08:00

it was better than the last. i've already been listening to christmas songs. this year the tv doesn't play much festive shows or commercials but i still want my fill. it's ashame, it's december first and i'm into "christmas spirit" more than ever. reality is probably the toughest it has been. it's the only thing left i have to face, aside from sprinkling my seed all over the world then dying. all my previous turmoils were in ideality. now after decades i'm without education to shield me from the life i inevitably have to form and i'm looking forward to it. i think it would eventually bring me into a better realm, a combination of earning (reality) and reward (ideal) to the fullest. i'd like to earn my living doing something i can thrive in. as we all should. my christmas spirit is sitting on santa wishing that everyone is getting paid for what they're good at, except harm! the people who are good at that get thrown in, with the coal, into the chimney while santas' farts explode the flames as he's tightly making his way up to rudolph.

in my futuristic reality of working and affording things.... i'd like to grow some:

and some:

i got to be real: it doesn't matter, illegal or not, people are smoking. it does less harm than alcohol and what the fuck is the point of a cigarette? look at how beautiful this plant is. i saw a pbs special that converted "The Botany of Desire" book into a 3 hour special, cannbis is a part of it. i highly recommend viewing it...or reading. anyway, i think it should be legal and i also strongly believe that if it becomes legal it'll do more harm than good for all sorts of reasons that i'll proclaim once i feel like stepping on a soapbox. when it comes to weed; money does grow on trees. if i grew i wouldn't have a pay a dime!

what really brought me to blog tonight are the christmas lights i took after my mom pulled out the winter storage. i put them on in my room and it inspired me to wear:

my webcam isn't the best, especially with the lighting, and my height in a small room doesn't help.

the jacket is jcrew and that was a big spend that ended up tearing at the seams within less than a week wear but i do love it.

the dress is UO on sale about a year ago, nice shiny red which was the christmas connection for me.

sweater, macy's scarf, salvation army

damsel

2009-11-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

so tonight i am not in denial of depression. yesterday i woke up sucking a lemon yesterday i woke up stuck in a dilemma - it’s what i think thom yorke is transforming his lyrics into in “everything is in the right place”. i feel locked up, i feel like i’m also locking myself up. what’s the human being version of a dog pound because i feel like i belong there? o no is this my critical inner voice speaking?! my friend warned me about this. what i’m locking up is my potential that i feel only seeps out of me in moments of bliss that i’m spirited i do have. well at least in this mood i’m suddenly imagining myself as a damsel in distress.

sweater, victoria’s secret, dress, london fog, tights, the sock man

o! and my bag is taken from my sister, brooklyn industries

also, how come i haven’t seen anyone give credit to that finalist on project runway two years ago with starting the feather hair patches trend?

the sanest days are mad

2009-11-25T23:12:00.000-08:00

i went to cancel my savings account and ended up getting this deal where i pay 25 a year and in return get money and gifts as i spend. then i went into charolette russe because it is the only one in brooklyn and when i searched “cloche” in google’s shopping CR came up with a unique cloche for a reasonable price so i say serendipity! ill tell you why, there’s was only one left and i got it 25% off because it was damaged. not damage beyond repair so it’s nice i get to nurse it back to health. then i gave a dollar to charity when i purchased the cloche and get a 10 dollar gift certificate to charolette russe. hmm chase and charolette are both giving me money to spend money. it all brings me into the christmas spirit; trying to make the most of what you got. i’m listening to Christmas songs and i just want the Frank Sinatra version of each and everyone. most originals are loud and fast tempo except for silent night. i’m so impressed with the amount of music youtube has.

so here’s the hat:

i’m breaking out and pmsing all over again because of plan b…yeah it’s not everyone’s first choice. i’m getting too old for the acne and i’m too young for childbirth. the only thing that should be popped at my age is cherries and… beer?

i also splurged on tights. i shouldn’t have so now i’m extra guilty to put use to them and they may have been worth it since they’re warm and it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas.

o boy should i label. i feel like i have a long story for… everything.

tights are H&M, shoes, bloomingdales, dress, besty johnson thirfted with my added ruffle touch and the skirt is AA

if the sanest days are mad i wonder what are the nights…

online (sale) shopping

2009-11-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

my two least favorite places to shop customized this outfit:

skirt, AA, tunic and jacket, UO

american apparel’s clothing is so half assed and double the price it’s insulting and urban outfitters is so trite it is tiring. urban outfitters also seems so out of touch with curves.

Can I Dress You Up In My Love

2009-11-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

do you really have to capitalize every word in a title? i don’t even capitalize at a start of a sentence. i realized i’m the visitor of my blog since google analytics counts my log in as a view.

whenever i have the opportunity to wear an outfit i’m too far away from my closet to take the chance. therefore whenever i’m home with my collection of clothing i rarely use the occasion to wear them out. since my closet continues to beg me to use it (and so does my feminine side) i’ll show it off on me. showing myself off to my only viewer, myself.

alright i’ll label: dress,H&M skirt, dvf/thirfted, knee highs, the sock man'

i dont recommend these socks and i found this diane vonfrustenberg skirt at the salvation army and made it slimmer and shortened it.

the everlasting songs stuck in my head (recent discoveries)

2009-11-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

so for nooooo reason known to me a song will pop into my head. some songs though will continue to pop into my head for years and it was only this year where i looked into the songs that have been ingrained in my brain for so long.

here are three so far. this post will be be updated whenever i discover another

Lenny Kravitz -It ain’t over ‘til its over

Madonna - Dress You Up

Bush - Swallowed

breaking through windows

2009-11-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

“there’s a ledge, over the edge, keith landed on it….lucky bloke”

“She don’t like slavery, she won’t sit and beg
But when I’m tired and lonely she sees me to bed
What set you free and brought you to be me babe
What set you free I need you here by me
Because

In the midnight hour she cried- “more, more, more”
With a rebel yell she cried- “more, more, more”
In the midnight hour babe- “more, more, more”
With a rebel yell- ‘more, more, more’”

hey let me tell you something

2009-11-25T21:57:00.001-08:00

i’m pissed off i didn’t get into fart school.

i'm not a fan of abuse and weight loss

2009-11-25T21:38:00.000-08:00

love take me down to the streets

2009-11-25T19:53:00.002-08:00

i’m sorry for the ones that may have thought i’ve let them down but my hat is hung for tonight. the one thing i despise of this weather is the temperature. tis the season to have a car. id go from a warm house to a warm car to a warm bar for yall. eh maybe not even then, i’m due for a fine from chase bank any day now. so if the funds were firm and i had an automobile i’d sure be there.

isn’t this something all this space we have created and isn’t is something i can say WE and mean it. so many people have contributed to this cyberspace, many even without it but have been photographed and posted. fbookers love take pics with the homeless on city streets and blogojournalist love going to africa to photograph….africans. not to say that all africans dont have internet i’m sure oprah is sprinkling internet schools among the continent. what i meant was i see africa still living amongst the earth, with the earth. searching lands for food and water and not for that new fall coat they’re going to try to find at macy’s.

anyway, about this space we have created. it’s a whole other active realm that’s only tangible through a computer screen. it is getting powerful because it can be free to run wild and it won’t get in anyone’s way. this space can’t move and trample over you. now people say that people have committed suicide over certain things people may have said and craigslist murders as well but i didn’t want to bring that into this special praise to the internet i only did it to make the viewers know that this isn’t haphazard. harm through the internet is rooted from the weak minds, which few have, since i don’t hear about the horror stories often. what i mean it twitter is more valuable than pizza hut. people’s ideas and people’s interest in ideas are free to exchange in this space and i think i can say i’m impressed. people of all ages can look up anything and everything from porn to pandas to poo. it’s strange how we can have all access in the internet realm but not in reality; like i said we cannot be trampled by it. i suppose it’s because we’re exposing and not physically effecting. alright that’s as far as i want to wrap my head around it.

i’m glad i keep this blog private except until recently, unfortunately. if i was to have followers i suppose i would hold back on the personal stuff although i seem to like it whenever the two bloggers i follow let me in on it. being in a relationship is crazy and being in one in this crazy world and my crazy phases makes me sane. even when i could think i dislike it i like it. i don’t know it’s like a long travel; some days it’ll be quiet and others days will be a riot. but whatever the day i want to know what it’s going to be like with him tomorrow. i don’t want to know how long it will lasts but i think i’m certain it’ll last for as long as it possibly can. im pretty shocked and amazed it’s still burning.

blah that blew me off course and i can’t even find my way back. i meant to write about fashion bloggers

text

2009-11-25T19:53:00.001-08:00

the emo girl’s fashion blog title: how it feels to put something on

my left knee gets sore when it rains, o golly gee wizzer nitzle.

another larry david

2009-11-25T19:50:00.000-08:00

he seems to be going overboard especially with the newest episode of curb your enthusiasm so here’s another idea.

a guy who is a lot cooler outdoors than he is indoors.

i know the idea wouldn’t take up 30 mins time but there’s a start. i find it more to his taste than the belly grabbing - saving life ordeal. and! this idea is from experience and i know he used to at least stem ideas from experience but who doesn’t really?

larry david

2009-11-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

yeah i’d give her an 8

who are you to give anyone over a 6 a rate

youre saying i have to be as or more attractive than someone in order to judge

well you put your judgements out there can you face the reaction

you have to face it more than i do.

what's the point of you?

2009-11-25T19:40:00.000-08:00

when is the Y necklace going to make a comeback?

the fall is falling part 2

2009-11-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

i was introduced to fleet foxes midsummer. i listened to both albums in the dark spooning with my lover. now every time i’m sad i get their sound in my head. it’s their sound rather than specifics because i refuse to listen to it although i pops up; i don’t want to get too sad! the whole reason it’s in my memory is to replace it with my sad thoughts; i’m not facing anything. instead i’ll put on rockin robin and watch michael jackson when he was the smallest version of himself and my o my was he o so big! i went to youtube hesitating to put on a live version in fear of bad quality then at the point came to realize it wouldn’t be because of who he is, and i was right. how moving he is.

thought streak broken

urban outfitters

2009-11-25T19:34:00.001-08:00

ain’t it sweet that the models in the pictures have their heads sliced?

descriptions drugs of the fall

2009-11-25T19:30:00.000-08:00

the fall has fallen too fast the leaves have changed its shade to die. the season brings a cool crisp sight but with a gloom that lurks over its beauty. in an old house in the valleys of the mountains the bathroom stays warm, like the light that is on to begin the day’s washing.

“you’re into cleansing”

“it’s because i’m a sinner”

“yeah it is the catholic in you isn’t it”

she smirks the smirks where he knows he’s onto something. we’re children in the tub. we’re new to each other then and the bathroom and house were ours, safe and sound because his father was there to protect us. we can scream and splash and the only surprising sound we heard was pleasant. the footsteps and shouts were from his father who never ceased to be so intriguing. a father that made us believe we could be children, ourselves.

this season its spooky without him, like we are now the ghost but are being haunted by our past. or this time we were the reminders of a pleasant past. where it is spooky to have lost but it’s pleasant to remember.

constant state of october, toasty

goldie locks and the three bears

2009-11-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

wouldnt porridge be better spelled pourage?

SNL

2009-11-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

why haven’t theyve done spoofs of match.com commercials or any dating commercials. and how about ipod commercials too? are they their sponsors?

Seinfeld

2009-11-25T19:18:00.001-08:00

it’s been a long hot day. you didn’t get to relax and it’s 7 o’clock then end up with a stomach ache. so then you think of all the girls your lover could be doing right now. then you fight about that with that lover you love and it’s 11 o’clock. you instinctively turn to fox five. still with your head down you end up laughing because george and jerry think it’s a shame that elaine’s girlfriend never wears a bra.

visitors

2009-11-25T19:17:00.001-08:00

Let my skin turn into soil

My flesh become a fossil

To fuel earth with my oil

My skeleton shall be docile

To the organics of the soul, I surmise

This is what America wants me to supply

Staring at this earth from the skies

I restrain myself to bid goodbye

For on this land I met love

Awaken by why I want to survive

Knowing what this emotion is made of

So with this love in my country

I surrender to the handcuffs and placed in this jail

And count on my love to be the bail

on the run

2009-11-25T19:16:00.001-08:00

so lately, every night near midnight i enter on the run to buy 24oz or 22oz. you know, just to take the edge off. of course there is only three arabs that work there. biden was right saying there is always a Moslems working at bodegas and gas stations. why? is it because it’s a gas station? i don’t know and i don’t think i am supposed to know. so there is three. the always i-pod listening (the youngest), the one who has a lazy or fake eye that always checks my id and the oldest guy that never checks for id. the other night i went in there around 5 am on a sunday. on my way from somewhere else i met this kid at the bus stop. i said hey and he didn’t respond which i couldn’t care less about. but then he came over and was like waahhh my friends left me. then this car with russian speaking russians tried to convince him to give him a ride but he declined. so the kid i met and some other guy who happened to walk by tell me russians are bad and they beat their girlfriends/wives. hahaha. i mean it’s ridiculous. plenty of people beat other people up. anyway we got on the bus and the kid starts talking and i forget about what because i’m drunk and maybe stoned because i took a few drags of the blunt that some kid had on the bus stop when i was going to that somewhere. i stopped caring about this post

feedumb

2009-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

wheres my freedom to buy beer between 2 - 11 on a sunday. god would not give a fuck if we drink. jesus christ get over it. he’s dead and we’ll all be dead with him. not in heaven, underground. is that ok with everyone? everyone that is striving to reach the clouds when all we do is go to the ground. all the preachers that are secretly masturbating to gay porn at night. some evenly fuck little boys. how disgusting is religion. everyone is submitted to whoevers interpretation of the bible is and no one can seriously abide to it. everyone cheats. it wouldn’t be cheating if we didn’t give ourselves or our children guideline. this is a shitty post. i hate discussing religion. it’s too easy to put down.

No ATM fees!

tea bags and douchebags

2009-11-23T00:25:00.000-08:00

there ought to be a video of someone starting a blog because i can read all the instructions but it doesn’t make sense when i actually apply it. ya know, it’s like when your teacher is telling you about rate and force and distance and you’re completely following it then she gives you a quiz and all that was gained is lost. physics isn’t a bad class. it should be required for everyone to take in college but what about taxes 101 and not just in college but in middle school. what about equal air time for all presidential candidates and by all i mean dennis kucinich. fucking dumbasses running this country. seriously they were dumb enough to have the stock market fall into a hole that 700 million dollars cant even get them out. i find dipping a bag of tea into microwaved, radiation potent water is somewhat contradicting. when i own a house my appliance collection will include a percolator. also my house or apartment would have to be near a great beer distributor.